There are many forms of love according to Ancient Greek philosophy that ranges from deep friendship to love of the self. But as world history tells us, the most complicated of all is pragma which refers to longstanding love. Pragma is the kind of love that you give to a partner whom you have a love interest with, whether of the same or opposite sex.
Love relationships have been a puzzle to many psychologists, sociologists, and therapists around the world. When this kind of relationship is as easy as loving and caring for someone that you love and care about, then there will be no more divorce, separations, and heartaches that go with relationship problems. Unfortunately, pragma is not as easy as loving and caring for someone. It does not have a set formula that anyone can just follow to find success in.
It may be a surprise to know that even engaged couples who have been together for more than a decade are still vulnerable to breakups. And some couples who have only known for a month stick together for the rest of their lives. These are some of the unique phenomena that love relationship experts cannot find an explanation to.
Why do some relationships work out, and why do other relationships fail?
Here we will try to explain why relationships fail. Here are some of the main reasons:
- It is all about me!
Most relationships fail because either one or both partners think that the relationship is, “All about me.” When couples are beset by self-centeredness, they cannot compromise for each other when they need to fill in each other’s wants. And selfish behavior is never healthy for any relationship, whether that is with your family, friends, or partner because it makes things always easy for you and difficult for others. And this kind of setup is never sustainable because for healthy relationships to thrive, it is all about achieving balance. Both partners in the relationship should be happy. And both should be at peace with every decision that a couple makes.
- Seeing your other half as someone who completes you
This relationship failure reason may sound counterintuitive, but if you see your partner as someone who should complete you, then you see yourself as incomplete. So, before you commit to someone, you should know yourself first. You should trust in yourself and know who you are, and where you stand principle-wise.
Instead of seeing your partner as someone who completes you, you should instead see him/her as someone whom you want to share your life and decisions with. By seeing your other half as a life partner, you don’t burden him/her with your issues and problems that you should be solving on your own in the first place. You should be happy to be with your other half no matter what the situation is, whether it is a happy or sad state to be in.
- Lack of communication
Lack of communication and miscommunication are the most common causes of breakups. When you think about it, it’s strange because everyone can communicate; it’s just that they don’t want to make the most of this gift.
Communication is a primal tool for survival to all species in this world. Other species, like the bumblebee, have established elaborate rituals to communicate, and one of the most researched is the “bumblebee dance” which shows the male and female’s displays of affection and flirtations.
But why do humans find it difficult to communicate what they really want? First off, there are cultural factors that people have to consider when making decisions. And so, many are led into doing things that they do not want to do. Secondly, different cultures, communities, and backgrounds have differing cultural expectations; and so, it is never easy to understand each other’s differences.
But if both partners are willing to get out of their comfort zones to balance out their differences, then communication can be vital to a fruitful and lasting relationship. Both should know how to understand, too, where each bases his/her decisions, personalities, and worldview from. When you know where your partner is coming from, you will understand his/her better. Needless conflicts can be avoided when good communication is put into the picture.
- Lack of compatibility
Many times, even if you and your partner have done your best to make the relationship work, you simply cannot make it work out because well, unfortunately, you are not made for each other. Compatibility is such a complex issue, and no amount of research can explain as to why we get attracted to someone, and why we don’t get drawn no matter how hard that person tries to please you. Many times, you just “know” that you like the person and you want to spend your life with him/her. Sometimes, you may be spending all your university years with this person, and you only find each other hardly attractive. But suddenly, when you meet again, you realize that you like this person and would like to know him/her better.
It is important for you and your partner to be sure with your compatibility before you commit to each other for the rest of your life.
These are the main reasons why relationships fail, and it is important for you and your partner to find solutions to these deal breakers so you can have a joyful, peaceful, and loving relationship that lasts.